Let’s start with something that might feel a little uncomfortable… Most RFPs are failing because of bad intent.

We’ve turned what should be a thoughtful, relationship-driven decision into a mechanical procurement exercise and in doing that, we’ve stripped out the very thing that makes events successful in the first place, people working well together toward a shared outcome.

That disconnect shows up later as frustration, misalignment, underwhelming results, and more often than not, a quiet feeling that “this agency just isn’t it.”

If we’re honest though, the issue usually starts long before the agency is selected.

It’s Not About Finding an Agency. It’s About Finding the Right Fit

There’s a subtle but important shift that needs to happen here.

When brands go out to RFP (request for proposal), they’re often looking for someone to execute. Someone to take direction, stay within budget, and deliver on time. And yes, those things matter, but they’re table stakes.

The real question is… Are you looking for an order-taker, or a partner who can help you get somewhere you haven’t been before?

Because those are two very different hires.

The best agency relationships (the ones that actually move the needle) are built on trust, pushback, and shared ownership of outcomes. Not just tasks or deliverables and you get that partnership by asking better questions, not just safe ones.

The Work Starts Before the RFP Ever Exists

One of the biggest patterns that came up in the conversation is how often teams rush into the RFP process without doing the internal work first.

It’s understandable when teams are lean, timelines are tight, and expectations are high so the instinct is to go find help quickly.

But, when you approach agencies with a vague “we need help with an event” you’re not setting them up for success. You’re asking them to interpret, assume, and fill in gaps that should have been clarified internally.

That’s where things start to break.

Before you even think about sending an RFP, there needs to be clarity around what you’re trying to accomplish. Not just what the event is, but what it’s supposed to do. What business outcome does this event support and what does success look like.

From there, you can start to define the kind of partner you need. Not all agencies are built the same and expecting them to be is part of the problem.

The “Do Everything” Myth Is Costing You

There’s this unspoken expectation in the industry that agencies should be able to do everything. Strategy, creative, execution, fabrication, logistics, all of it… And while many agencies position themselves that way, the reality is much more nuanced.

Some are exceptional strategists. 

Some are brilliant creatively. 

Some are operationally elite. 

Very few are world-class at all of it.

When brands don’t take the time to define what they actually need, they end up hiring based on perception rather than fit. That’s when you start to see agencies outsourcing key pieces, gaps in ownership, and ultimately, a lack of cohesion across the experience.

Why Shorter RFPs Actually Lead to Better Decisions

There’s a tendency to equate thoroughness with length. The longer the RFP, the more “serious” the process feels.

But in practice, long RFPs often create more noise than clarity.

A more effective approach is what we call a “mini RFP”. This is focused, intentional, and rooted in context. When agencies are given a clear understanding of your goals, your constraints, your past experiences, and your expectations, they don’t need 30 questions to respond thoughtfully.

They need direction.

Here’s where it gets interesting… The quality of an agency’s response isn’t just in what they present. It’s in how they engage, the questions they ask back, the assumptions they challenge, even the curiosity they bring to the table.

Those are the signals that matter.

If You’re Not Evaluating Process, You’re Missing the Point

A lot of RFP evaluations lean heavily on outputs like the creative ideas, pricing, case studies but, events rarely fail because of bad ideas. They fail because of poor execution, miscommunication, or lack of alignment.

That’s why process matters so much.

How does the agency think through a problem? 

How do they communicate along the way? 

How do they handle ambiguity or pressure when things inevitably shift?

These aren’t “nice to have” insights but rather predictors of success and yet, they’re often overlooked in favor of what looks good on a slide.

The Power of Showing Options, Not Just Answers

One of the more practical ideas that came out of the discussion was the concept of presenting work in tiers (good, better, best).

It sounds simple, but it fundamentally changes the conversation.

Instead of forcing a single solution into a fixed budget, it opens up a dialogue around trade-offs, priorities, and possibilities. It helps stakeholders understand what different levels of investment actually unlock, rather than just reacting to a number.

More importantly, it positions the agency as a strategic partner, someone who is guiding decisions, not just responding to them.

Red Flags Are Usually Subtle (But They’re There)

Most teams know to look out for obvious issues, but the more telling signals are often quieter.

An agency that doesn’t ask questions during the RFP process might seem efficient, but it’s usually a sign they’re not thinking deeply. A team that says yes to everything might feel accommodating, but it often leads to overextension and underdelivery.

Even something as simple as inconsistent communication early on can be a preview of what the relationship will feel like later.

And then, there’s instinct. The intangible sense that something isn’t quite aligned. That matters more than we often give it credit for.

The Goal Isn’t Fairness, It’s Fit

There’s a common effort to make RFPs “fair” by standardizing everything. Asking the same questions, using the same format, and having the same evaluation criteria.

In trying to create fairness, we often eliminate differentiation.

You end up comparing agencies as if they’re interchangeable, when in reality, their value lies in how they think, how they operate, and how they challenge you.

The goal isn’t to find the most compliant response, it’s to find the best fit and fit is rarely discovered through uniformity.

The Best Partnerships Don’t Start With Control. They Start With Trust

At the end of the day, the strongest event programs are built on trust.

Not blind trust, but trust that’s earned through clarity, communication, and shared intent.

When that trust is there, agencies take ownership, bring ideas forward, and push when it matters because they care.

Without it, even the most talented teams will default to playing it safe and safe rarely creates impact.

Final Thought

If there’s one takeaway from all of this, it’s this… RFPs aren’t about finding someone who can do the work. They’re about finding someone you trust to help you do better work.

That shift (from transaction to partnership) is where everything changes and it all starts with asking better questions.